So I Got an Email From my Summer Job.

"Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis" (Dwhite95) 05/06/2015 at 19:00 • Filed to: None

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Not only do they want a selfie from me, but also want 5 fun facts about me. I dont have 5 interesting things to tell them about, I’m working IT for gods sake. How dare they try to get to know me, I didnt sign up for this shit.

Mostly /s. But still, finding 5 “fun facts” is gonna be a bitch.

dontbethatguy > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:05

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“2006 TIME Person of the year” Thats fun right??

Brian, The Life of > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:06

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You are powered by Daft Punk and corgis. It’s right there in your title. One down, get the other 4 from someone else.

/myworkhereisdone

Nibbles > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:06

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I had to do that for a previous company. It was mainly stupid things like

Nibbles is composed of nearly 60% water.
Nibbles once took a picture of a man from Las Vegas in a poorly planned attempt to relive the Johnny Cash lyrics
The average age of Nibbles’ vehicle fleet is older than the average employee age at [new job]

And the like

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:08

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1. Something About Corgis

2. Something About Daft Punk

3. Electric Forest

4. Something About Pontiac

5. Hotwheels

6. Something About Bond

What do I win? :p

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Brian, The Life of 05/06/2015 at 19:09

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Maybe mention that you own the largest dildo collection in the western hemisphere....They did want to know something fun about you, after all.

RallyWrench > Brian, The Life of 05/06/2015 at 19:10

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Hell, that’s 3 down! Likes Caffeine, enjoys Daft Punk and (presumably) has Corgis, whatever those are. This is easy.

CB > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:10

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Put down your irrational fears as fun facts! For example, “CB is irrationally afraid of sea mines, even though he lives nowhere near the sea”.

If worse comes to worse, rip off a Stig intro or two.

PS9 > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:11

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5 interesting things about me;

1. I’m a private person

2. I don’t like questions

3. Seriously, enough with the freaking questions

4. I like people who mind their business

5. I don’t like the number five

SWITAWI > Brian, The Life of 05/06/2015 at 19:11

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Don’t forget the caffeine. And if he counts them separately then he only needs two more things...

RallyWrench > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:12

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Make the selfie of something else. Dickbutt comes to mind.

Brian, The Life of > RallyWrench 05/06/2015 at 19:13

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This is a Corgi (puppy ... D’AWWWW!) and practiacally everyone is powered at least in part by caffeine, so that’s not really a “fun fact” ;)

E. Julius > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:15

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*gets fired for submitting photo taken by somebody else*

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:15

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At least you didn't have to come up with an answer on the spot during an interview.

Nibbles > RallyWrench 05/06/2015 at 19:18

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I secretly embed dickbutt in all my corporate correspondence

TheDude without a car > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:21

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Tell them you’re the worlds strongest millionaire.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Tim (Fractal Footwork) 05/06/2015 at 19:22

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Oh I got with those questions too.

“So Dwhite, tell me about your self”. Thats always a tough one to deal with on the spot.

RallyWrench > Brian, The Life of 05/06/2015 at 19:24

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But... but... Corgi is a British toy car brand! I didn’t know they made those little short legged Fox-looking things too! And I’m not powered by caffeine, because it doesn’t seem to work for me, but the caffeine enthusiasm could easily be embellished to become a fun fact, like so:

Fun Fact: DWhite, upon ingestion of x amount of caffeine, will spontaneously start doing the Moonwalk.

This will make coworkers give caffeine in hopes of witnessing the elusive Moonwalk Threshold, thus keeping DWhite powered.

yamahog > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:26

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Cheer up, it is so much more enjoyable interning somewhere that at least tries to do fun shit for their interns. I’m thinking this is a sign you may be getting some freeeeeee lunches and events with other interns. You can always make shit up too.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > yamahog 05/06/2015 at 19:30

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They do actually do a bunch of stuff for the interns.

The company rented out the entire Birmingham Fair a day before it opens for everyone in the company plus a guest, $5 per day allowance in the store on the first floor, valet parking too. Its not to bad of a gig.

guinessboy2013 > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 19:59

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I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the word “self**”

RallyWrench > Nibbles 05/06/2015 at 20:28

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Well, yeah. I mean, it’s what you do.

Nibbles > RallyWrench 05/06/2015 at 20:29

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It is; the evil-do that I do do

XJDano > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/06/2015 at 20:50

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You could say

“ I wear tube socks to bed. On my arms, up to my elbows. That’s fun & a fact. “

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/07/2015 at 05:58

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tell ‘em you murder hookers as a hobby

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 05/07/2015 at 10:05

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Fact #1 - I’d never taken a selfie until you asked me to.